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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26843500">dee-jun-gel-skog?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolricecookie/pseuds/smolricecookie'>smolricecookie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Domestic Fluff, Established Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov, Family Bonding, Fluff, Gen, IKEA, Minor Otabek Altin/Yuri Plisetsky, POV Yuri Plisetsky, Rated T for Yuri's cursing, it can go either way victor just likes to tease yuri, me and the boys losing a child in a crowded IKEA, mostly - Freeform, platonic or romantic</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:13:21</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>924</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26843500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/smolricecookie/pseuds/smolricecookie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Victor, Yuuri, and Yurio go to IKEA for some bonding time ft. Djungelskog</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Katsuki Yuuri &amp; Victor Nikiforov &amp; Yuri Plisetsky, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>49</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>dee-jun-gel-skog?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyseyebrow/gifts">emilyseyebrow</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/emilyseyebrow">@emilyseyebrow</a> for beta-ing this :)<br/>check out their account they have a couple of really fluffy bungou stray dogs fics</p><p>also if anyone actually knows how to pronounce "Djungelskog" please hmu because in conversation i only refer to him as "m'boy" so-</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yuri hated everything. He couldn’t remember a time that he had wanted to kill anyone more than he wanted to kill Victor and Yuuri at this moment. The three of them were having “bonding time” by going to IKEA, a maze of a store with items in a language that none of them spoke. What a great fucking idea.</p><p>“But Yurio!~” Victor cried, gazing at Yuri with stars in his eyes. “Look at him! He’s so big and cuddly-”</p><p>“-and round and soft!” Yuuri squealed with equal vigor. Yuri audibly groused; he hated how they finished each other's sentences. Yuuri and Victor were proudly holding up a gigantic stuffed brown bear, which upon further inspection, was called “DJUNGELSKOG”. How do you even say that? Fuck Swedish.</p><p>“Why am I the one acting like an adult here?!” He was mad. No, he was livid. First they drag him to this stupid country, and now they had the gall to behave like children. He grumbled in disbelief. He was supposed to be in Kazakhstan with Otabek, not listening to Victor and Yuuri be a gross couple. “Are you even going to be able to take that thing on a plane?”</p><p>“I- what- Yurio how could you say such a thing? First of all, this bear is not a thing, he’s a Jun-gel, um, Dee-jun-gel, how do you say it?” Victor turned to Yuuri, puzzled. When Yuuri shrugged in response, Victor briskly moved past it with a wide, almost proud, smile. “And second of all, how can anyone resist this charming, regal face! No one can deny his boyish good looks.”</p><p>Yuri almost exploded at that and Yuuri seemed to notice, smiling at the fact that Yuri was able to control himself so well. He hated Yuuri and his perceptiveness. “Don’t call me that,” he sneered, “and I <i>can</i> deny his stupid looks so put him back and let’s get a move on. You’re causing a fucking scene.” It’s true. People tend to notice Victor whether or not they follow figure skating, because he’s attractive. Objectively. Victor looked affronted at his remark and stuck his tongue out, stubbornly keeping his hold on the bear as they continued to walk through IKEA. What a child.</p><p>Making their way through the store, he had to endure all of their disgusting couple talk.</p><p>“Oh, Victor these are nice plates, do we need more plates?” Yuri walked in front of them, trying to put distance between them.</p><p>“Ooh Yuuri!~ I found a chair that matches your beautiful eyes!” He pulled his hood lower, staring at the floor.</p><p>“Victor, this rug is the same color as your hair!” He walked a little faster, not even bothering to look at where he was going. Anything to get away from them, at least for a moment.</p><p>“Yuuri, look at this bed! It’s so comfy, let’s buy it!” He tried to focus on something else. Anything else. His shoes. The texture of the floor. The stupid elevator music that played through the crowded store. But Victor and Yuuri’s constant chatter rang like an annoying…annoyance. They were annoying. Finally, he snapped.</p><p>“WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?! I DON’T NEED TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT EACH OTHER ALL THE TIME! IT’S A FUCKING RUG, KATSUDON, WHO CARES IF IT MATCHES VICTOR’S HAIR,” Yuri snarled, looking at the pair with pure rage in his eyes. The outburst shocked several people within the vicinity, but Yuuri merely smiled, pulling Djungelskog ever closer while Victor sported a delighted grin and a sparkle in his eye. Yuri hated that sparkle; it meant trouble.</p><p>“Oh Yurio, have you been lonely without your boyfriend? Next time, you should invite him with us so we can double date!” Victor cooed with a shit-eating grin, trying to grab at Yuri’s cheeks to pinch them. Yuuri’s calm smile had an underlying tiredness to it; he expected this. Too many times had Victor pushed Yuri too far with his antics, and never had it ever ended well. Yuri looked like he was out for <i>blood</i>, a murderous glint in his eye. He violently swatted Victor’s hand away, his eyes cold. No way in hell would he <i>willingly</i> let himself be babied like that.</p><p>“He’s not my fucking boyfriend, shithead,” he protested lowly. Victor looked simultaneously impressed and offended by his knowledge of English swears while Yuuri took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, sighing.</p><p>“Whatever. I’m out of here. Don’t look for me.” He stalked off, cursing heavily in Russian. Anyone who tells you he ran away is <i>wrong</i> and will get a beating, but he practically steamrolled a little girl in his haste. Victor and Yuuri were both stunned. Somehow, quiet Yuri is much scarier than offended, screaming Yuri. They shared a look, and upon realizing that they didn’t know what to do in this situation, hurriedly looked around for the short teen. It’s no use; the store was crowded and Yuri is only 163 cm (5’4). They both took off running together, Djungelskog forgotten. Victor could see pretty far due to his height, and Yuuri was graceful as all hell and could weave through the crowds easily. Together, they made a good team. And regrettably, not good enough.</p><p>~</p><p>Yuri was brooding in the IKEA cafeteria, sipping angrily at his recently-purchased juice box. He stabbed at a meatball. Yuri hated everything. Even Dee-jun-gel…skoge? The bear. He couldn’t remember a time that he had wanted to kill anyone more than he wanted to kill Victor and Yuuri at this moment. He should text Otabek.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>is my first fic really 900 words of plotless rage in an IKEA? why yes, yes it is.</p><p>also it absolutely broke my heart to call djungelskog "that thing" and to say his face looks stupid 😔</p><p>let's talk abt yuri on ice together on <a href="https://twitter.com/smolricecookie">twitter :D</a></p></blockquote></div></div>
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